The false problem.
Look around. Observe the people who are walking on a street downtown, look at the people you run into: what kind of faces have they got? How would you rate the average happiness in our Country?
I bet I’m not the only one who thinks that the situation is not really rosy.
Don’t be surprised, but ask yourself where a person can find a corner where to breathe and get away from the tons of collective bullshit that the news present as true.
People’s attention is usually focused on what they don’t have, on obstacles they run into, instead of being focused on the resources and the opportunities they have around!
We often happen to receive, especially through social media, negative comments about the posts on positivity, hope, enthusiasm that we share with our followers and the whole world. There is always someone who strives to underline that there are a lot of valid reasons to feel defeated, to have low energy, to feel less guilty when you do nothing to change.
Enough, enough, enough! I’ve had enough of these advocates of a shitty life! I’m saying it with love, let’s be clear.
Do you want to be right living like a loser? You already are, because I believe that whoever has enough time to lose following a page or a blog they don’t like or really hate, has a very miserable life. Maybe they use this behavior to feel stronger or simply as pressure valve to take a break from their unsatisfying existence or their overflowing anger. I don’t know, but honesty I’m very sorry for them, so I try to use them as food for thought hoping that by reading this article they could change their mind a bit.
Before going on though I need to clarify a very important principle: everything we teach or do during our courses is useless!
Yes, you’ve read it right! It’s useless unless you first decide to change things, to go out of your comfort zone, to be willing to be humble and open to question all the thoughts and beliefs you have had so far which obviously haven’t brought you yet where you want to be.
The real problem
Today I want to share a public secret, so obvious no one really pays attention to it, because otherwise our courses would have millions of students instead of thousands.
You become the people you hang out with. One of the first fundamental principle of sociology is this, we are definitely influenced by the environment we are surrounded with.
If you are used to spending, and I’m using this verb on purpose, time with a group of people of a company where the normal Saturday night is spent drinking, smoking, dancing and talking about bullshit, this is exactly what you will do and become. Now, if it was just a matter of Saturday night, you could also tell yourself: “Come on, it’s just once a week…”. The point is that often people who spend their free time in an unproductive way make this way of thinking, acting, living pervasive. I’ll make an example.
If you are used to friendships or a family environment in which the habit is to blame others, the recession, politicians for your own failures, you will be used to thinking this is the truth! Even when you will find a job, the fundamental matrix of your thoughts will be that. Then, you will have the tendency to delegate to the outside the responsibility of what’s happening and you are not liking. This will have a tragic effect on your life in the short and long term. Not immediately, because in the short term we feel better if we don’t feel “guilty” for shitty results or emotions in our life. But later on, as time goes by, this countinuous escaping your responsibility will wear out, because it will make you feel powerless, incapable, imprisoned, disappointed, unsatisfied and frustrated.
If you keep on pointing at other people or situations as an excuse not to accomplish what you want you’re likely to live a very poor life, and I’m not just talking about money but everything!
I’m using strong words because the message must be strong.
Stop saying that if you don’t have success it’s because you’re unlucky and if you have it it’s because you’re lucky. We are lucky, because you were born in a free country and we are not afflicted by starvation, and this means we are luckier than others, I agree. The point is that we are comparing ourselves to results of people who were born with our own fortune. From then on, what matters is merit, the ability to take advantage of the opportunities life puts in front of you. And everyone has opportunities, but sometimes they don’t see them or, even worse, they exchange them for absurd challenges.
Let’s now focus on the solution, because I believe the situation to solve is pretty clear now.
The first thing you need to do is to wisely choose the environment you hang out with. If your usual company is made of people who complain a lot, who spend time doing stupid things rather than putting their effort to give a meaning to their life, then you need to change.
If you’re thinking that you don’t want to give up on your childhood friends, then there are only two ways to keep your childhood friends while having different goals from theirs.
Either they follow you or you follow them. If you want a life that’s not mediocre, if you want to be happy and successful and reach this goal while you’re still young, then you must be willing to let go of your burdens.
Yes, you’ve read it right. The people who try to stop you because they want you to be mediocre with them are not good for your life. Live surrounding yourself with those who are motivated, who dream and take actions to reach their goals. Share your days with busy people, with those who are not afraid to work hard for what they believe in, with those who take responsibility for their life.
Don’t let go of old friends in a haughty way. Simply start dedicating more time to people who give you energy, who inspire you, who help you, not to those who criticize you for their own good. Beside this, living in a productive environment doesn’t mean you’re never going to receive feedbacks, not at all. Feedbacks will be productive and always aimed at helping you reach your goal. The only way you have to change the environment around you is to be an example, and in order to do it easier, at first you’ll have to change environment.
A Test to understand your starting point
Do you want to know if the environment you’re surrounded by is productive or not? Then take this simple test:
Write on a sheet of paper the 10 people who influence you the most, whether or not they are your relatives.
They could be friends, teachers, colleagues, bosses, partners, parents. Select the 10 who are the most important, meaning that their opinion matters a lot for you.
Once you’ve completed your list, there’s the most important moment. Give them a grade from +10 to -10, considering how much you feel helped toward your goals and dreams thanks to the relationships with this people. Let me be clear, this is not a grade about how much you love a person, but only a grade about the influence this person has on you. For example, you may love your best friend a lot because you’ve known him since you were very young and you’ve shared a lot of things together, but you may have very different goals and when you tell him about yours, you don’t receive a feedback from him but just useless critiques. Obviously this will have an influence on you. Probably a negative one. Even though sometimes a negative feedback could have a positive effect on our actions.
You must deeply evaluate each of them, entering the emotions you feel exchanging opinions with these people. Obviously I’m talking about opinions on topics which are important for your life growth. I guess that if you support different teams this won’t be a real reason of disagreement for you.
Well. Once you’ve done this, you are aware of the influence people have on you. Now it’s up to you to choose how to act. Use your mind! It doesn’t mean that if your father is the person that has the most different opinions from yours, you have to stop talking to him! But you have to find a way to be influenced the least by him. In this case for example, get used to distinguishing love from the need for approval.
By the way, beside some extreme cases like this one, you must consider another thing: when you grow, change and start going toward what you want, some people will stay close to you and others will remain behind. That’s all.
Once you know this, take care of your relationships and create the environment you really desire. Take care of your relationships with the people you admire and choose what to do with those who suck your energy. From my point of view there are two options: either you bring them to your side or you cut ties with them.
And be aware, letting go of your burdens is just part of the job.
You must start surrounding yourself with determined people, who are an inspiration to excel in your life. If right now you don’t know any, look for them. Find them. When I took the memory class, my first experience in the training field, one of the things I was most impressed by was the environment. I met smiley, positive people, who were seriously putting their effort to achieve great results. It was extremely inspiring! I had found the environment I wanted and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them. The next step was to create that same environment in my everyday life.
What you need
Do you know why people take our courses? To spend time with us. To stay with people who make you want to take actions through their example. And my suggestion is this: come to spend a day with us. Start with Your Day. Come feel what it means to be immersed in a positive environment.
One of your goals, if you want to be a successful man or woman, must be to become one of those people who inspire others.
And this doesn’t mean that you have to work with us. This is not what I’m talking about. But I want you to influence your environment as much as possible, sharing messages about positivity, hope, will to improve, well-being, fun, happiness. This is what I want, because if you do it then it means you’re my teammate. It means you’re changing the world. You’re helping us achieve our dream.
To sum it up, remember that, to become an example of consistency very fast, you must start taking care of your environment. Your small, personal slice of the world.